As these daemons close in, I wonder if I’ll need to cut them down. I can’t believe it was the truth I found. I climbed that huge mound, on the other side was darkness bound. Lingering, tinkering with reality. Again, I begin to see. Again, I begin to pay the fee. Here’s my sanity, let me in. You’re right, its forged. I lost it long ago. I just let it go. Sanity is overrated, I’d rather be hated. I can make lyrics as hard as a sack of lard hitting you in the face. You barely escape with your life as a bear comes busting down your door. His ferocious roar makes you shit your pants. The bear has awoken, he shouts as he lets out a hadouken. When no body is lookin the daemons have their go. Wear down the brain until the will has been slain. No pain no gain as I find my main vein. Then I realize, that this world needs my eyes. This world is in pain, and I need to eat its pain. I’m insane, so pain is to my gain. I learn when hurt, my skills are still kinda inert. Back up, I’m claustrophobic. Close in on me and your in shit, i’ll knock you out with one hit. I’m a maniac making manic mayhem, maybe my mood is a bit erratic. Some people feign mania, thats hella lame, huh. I grew up kind crazy. I was like, whats emotions to a hazy reality. Shadow people got me on lock, they’re in my closet waiting for my body to knock out. These daemons try to give me one helluva clout. I took a different route, knocked them in their snout. Stop it, America, with all that bullshit you spout. Its because of you that there are people like me who sprout. I’ve seen the darkness to come, without a doubt. I lived in the dark, waiting for a daemon shark. I let out a mighty bark, hoping they could make their mark. Meanwhile, the government disperses insanity pills, controlling the masses with these setup kills. Damn humanity, we’ve still got a lot of hills. I think its time we kill this father land, but even saying that might get me banned. Possibly even canned. They won’t take me down without a fight. I’ve had enough of the light. I’m out of sight. I’ve got a dangerous might, I prosper at night. I’ve fallen from a dangerous height, just get back up and drink from a holy cup. They cant stop me now, I’m the train that knows he can. At the end of the day, they are like damn man. I’ve got a mission, to show this world we dont need fission. I’ve got a messed up vision. Its our minds they are a fishin. This shit got me wishin for a better world. One that wasn’t so twirled. You see this bear has one helluva care. I won’t leave this plane, until the corruptness has been slain. Only problem is my life is a battle. My mind is the battle field. I fight myself, using me as a shield. Knowledge is all I wield. You’ll have to kill me before I will kneel. You don’t understand what I feel. No control, I’m stuck in a hole. As whole, I have a dark soul. I’m not evil, I just want humanity’s retrieval. We’ve been lost for awhile, as civilizations we do defile. Even our own people we exile. That’s it, I’m starting a file. Keeping tabs on you guys and all those lies. I’m aiming for the stars, but I’m shooting at the roots. If they ask you to turn against us, will you put down your boots? Or will you fight your friends? Remember before the military, how you were our friend? If they make you fight us, then I’m sorry this has to be the end. Friend against friend, brother against brother. This world is becoming a bother. Where the fuck is this almighty father. We got kids turning orphan, we got kids turning up a corpse. We got bombs blowing up buildings, we got people killing the children. I look out on the world, and watch as our wrong doings are unfurled.
They said I was a masochist, a masochist is what I am. I’m looking down on me, wondering when will you ascend. Leave back the filth, and get out of the hole. I was the one who dug it, to fill my soul. I came out of the womb, looking for my tomb. Shortly there after I realized I was torn. Into a terrible world I was born. After the first 11 years, it was my dad I did mourn. Grew up without his guiding hand, how did I learn to stand? I secret poison from my noise gland, yet I still think I’m awfully bland. I’ve been out in space, looking for land. I was one man in my very own band. I gave myself sweet sorrows saying, shit sure sucks since I’ve been grown. Yet, I grew the first night I was left all alone. I threw my own bone. I pretend to have a busy phone. All the while I’m not even in this zone. Watched myself from 3rd person. Is this real life? Why was I given such strife? What tempted me to pick up that first knife? Pain to drown out sorrow, can I borrow your sanity? I no long have any vanity. Why didn’t this world’s mod just ban me? Or at the very least can me. My code, which was entered in my node, doesn’t let me choose my own mode. My mode made my mood. My mood was in a feud, with me, the dude. Didnt even know my emotion until they set off into motion. Put on that lotion, dont cause such a commotion. I had this absurd notion, that I could fix me with a potion. So shit sucks, suck it up. thats what they said, but then I let it all go to my head. Out of order, its like my mind is Mordor. No one cares to open its door.
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I often find myself asking myself why do I care? Why do I go out of my way to do good by people when they are never even there to listen to me? I don’t ask for much and I rarely ever ask for help or talk to someone.
Its on these nights, which start the fights, where one realizes with their eyes that the are devoid of will, because of that void. Its these nights where bars keep you from remembering your scars. Yet, you trace the scars with your thought, thinking you ought. Punish thy who punishes himself, for if your daemons come to bare then fight like a bear. Let not a daemon control your actions, think not of your addictions. Time heals all pain, but sometimes it brings corruptness in vain. Think like that one train, “you must remain sane. You have daemons that need to be slain.” Without pain there would be no gain. I sit and I contemplate. Shiny thing at my side, do I break or do I carry on, but for who’s sake? My own, nein I’m all alone. As the darkness does swirl, I see the dark energies swirl. Rise from the shadow, then watch it go. Damn daemons running tricks on me, but the more I look the less I see. The dark it closes in, the the world it does spin. See the glint in your eye, when you glance at that shiny lie. Yet it tempts you with relief, I’ve been here before, good grief.
I enjoy helping people, helping people helps me. Unfortunately, people take advantage of me because of that. I have issues that need to be dealt with as well, and guess what people? I have nobody to go to, because whenever I need help everyone disappears. So I stopped going to anyone for help. I’m in this world by myself, so I’ll deal with my own problems by myself. That won’t stop me from helping people though. It seems no matter how much I think someone knows me, they never actually know me. They either forget to realize certain things about me or assume things about me that aren’t true. I have recently been wondering if I have a soul mate. If I have someone out there who is completely compatible with me and vice versa. I thought I had found her. She was basically a female version of myself, not quite really, but we did have an incredible amount in common. It was almost scary sometimes. We finished each other’s sentences, too. She told me time and time again that she accept me with all my flaws. Accepted me for who I was and said that I had no flaws at times. Said that I was the perfect boyfriend, said she wanted to be with me for a long long time. With the way I am, I believed her. I wanted to believe it would work. The things she told me about myself always raised confidence. She was perfect herself. Everything about her was amazing… until she changed, I guess. After four months or not even, she told me that we shouldn’t date anymore. There were many reasons. I needed to grow up was the biggest thing. I read too much manga, smoked too much weed. Drank alcohol, apologized too much. The list goes on, but the biggest thing was growing up… this really has been getting me down lately… I thought she knew me. She clearly never knew me if she feels the need to tell me to grow up. I didn’t get to live my childhood, I had to grow really fast to deal with all the stress. Even now I still have stress carrying over from when I was a kid. Which is why I smoke weed. If weed didn’t exist I may have killed myself by now. As Bipolar Type 1, when I start getting manic behaviour, one of the first signs is sped up thoughts. In a matter of 5 minutes I will think of a lot. I can’t really even describe it too well, right now. Seeing as I’ve been on meds for awhile now and haven’t had a manic episode in a month or so. I usually end up thinking about all my faults and mistakes and issues. So, naturally when I first tried weed and realized that it brought my thought process back down from being fast, I knew that weed was a miracle drug. When I start getting manic, smoke a blunt. When I start getting depressed, smoke a blunt. Its just who I am now. I realized that if she couldn’t accept me for who was, when she knew who I was more than anyone, who will? Even if I do find someone like that again I feel like it wouldn’t last too long. I have a lot of flaws. People try to tell me I don’t because I hide them well, but I do. I just suffer with them by myself most of the time. Which is completely fine with me. I’ve grown accustomed to it, but lately its just all been really draining. With my birthday coming up I’ve been reflecting too much for my own good.
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I’m going to be 20 soon, and yet I feel like I’ve been a live a lot longer. I’ve seen and felt things people don’t even want to think about. This world is cruel and dark. Alas, this is the stark reality of it all. We make the light for this world. Unfortunately, there are more people who carry darkness than those who carry light. So, our world is a lot darker than it should be. Its unfortunate, really, there are kids who are born into this world to have their parents taken from them. There are kids who are born into this world with their parents and grow attached to their parents, just to have them taken away. I’ll never understand why my dad took his life, and I’ll never understand why my mom abandoned me so many times in the cold dark night. What I do understand is that the past is locked in cement and cannot be changed. I understand that the future is all that matters, but like everyone I have doubts about my future. Will I become successful? Will I help many people? Or will I fail and become a nobody and hurt many people? Only time will tell. I do know that everyone’s life is like a book, each day is a new page. I’ve met many interesting people in my short time on this planet. Every person I have met and got to talk to, I remember. They changed me, even if it was in the slightest. Our lives are all connect and affect each other. The people you meet on your journey and the things you do on it, make you into what you are right now. I know, probably more than most people, that humans change. Each day we change, even if it is the slightest. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Even if it seems like someone has not changed, you’re wrong. How do you know that their thought pattern isn’t completely different than it was yesterday? I am a self-proclaimed anarchist. I do not think that anarchy is possible, though. I am not deluded. I believe anarchy is much more than just an idea, its a way of living. My entire life I have lived in anarchy. Even my mind lives in anarchy. I am unable to control my emotions, and that is why anarchy makes sense to me.
Alien who was brought to earth thousands of years before current time and laid dormant in cryosleep for ages. He was thrusted away from his planet at the last second to try to save his race. With his capsule came a certain alien planet that grew fond of earth’s climate and populated its land. This plant would also help increase the aliens intelligence when he smokes it. He can regenerate. If a limb gets cut off it grows back and the limb that was cut off grows another body. A clone of the original alien that can only last for a day. He ends learning how to craft a mech suit and makes a luxurious battle suit which he can plug into a larger more gundam looking mech which has smoke chambers for him to gain better reflexes and reaction time. Whenever his body is destroyed completly then he is reborn, hut with less humanity. Each time he dies he becomes more powerful and more bestial.
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I’m not insane, I’m unsane.
Enraxes. A planet who’s environment is extreme in all areas. The extremely dense jungle, named the Jungle of Jinx, has a canopy well over a few miles tall. People live in the trees, the natives are always at war, due to the fact that the jungle is ever shifting. Trees move, animal predators developed camouflage, swamps appear and disappear, spontaneous fires erupt from the ground to consume parts of the jungle, insects are the size of human fists, and some plants have become carnivores. In order to survive in such a place, one must embrace a warrior lifestyle and fight for their lives. You can not trust anyone in the jungle, because of a well-known parasite that will take over its host’s body and use it as a puppet to get near another human or animal to take over that body. They call that parasite the rogue puppeteer. There is a myth that deep within the jungle there is a temple made of trees and plants. It is said that it was made by the jungle itself to protect its secret. Its secret is an ancient weapon which allows the jungle to be alive. It is said that this weapon can give life to plants and can move earth. The extremely cold tundra is named the Tundra of Trials, is located to the north of the jungle, on the top of the planet. Many monks and hardened fighters make a journey across the tundra, to test their endurance. Many temples have been built, just to be covered in snow or ice. Avalanches are as regular as snow falling. The terrain shifts, causing geysers, which get frozen after erupting. Pillars of ice with people and animals frozen in them, litter the area. The predators in the area have developed an extremely rough and large fur coat, to protect from blizzard storms and hail. They are able to create caves for shelter and are intelligent enough to know how to make pitfalls in the snow. The mountains, which were once volcanoes, now spew a frozen slush which freezes anything in its path. In order to survive in such a place, one must battle the predators which reside in the area. The predators are called Guardians, because of a myth that they are protecting an ancient weapon which created the tundra and them. It is said that this weapon could freeze people’s blood if used correctly. In order to survive in the tundra, one must kill a guardian upon entering. If this is not done and they continue on, they will most likely die due to the cold and harsh environment. The scorching desert plain is named the Desert of Doom, located to the east and west of the jungle. The desert is vast and extremely dangerous. No one who enters the desert comes back. Eternal burning fires ravage the plain. Moving and consuming anything in its way. Fire tornadoes are in abundance and long lasting. The earth splits open to lava and closes. Dragons soar the skies, fighting for the land below. Their lairs are made of obsidian. There is a myth that the dragon’s king guards an ancient weapon forged from the core of the planet. The weapon is said to burn souls and destroy countries in black fire. The weapon is said to be the reason why the desert is doomed to fire and death. South of the jungle there is a vast and mysterious ocean that stretches across the bottom of the planet. The ocean is call the Ocean of Obscurity. No one knows what exactly lies in the ocean, because no one has ever dared to cross it. Myths say that at the very bottom of the ocean exists a city made of ivory. It is there that the secret ancient weapon is held. No one has been able to understand the ocean and thus have no idea what the weapon could be capable of.
From orbit of the planet, Nyx could see the extreme differences in the terrain. He saw white to the north, blue to the south, green in the middle, and red everywhere else. He began to wonder how this planet which had such extreme elements even existed. The wizard was telling him that the planet was created by an ancient grand master wizard who is said to have been born from the universe itself. It is told that he created the planet to imprison four daemons and lock up the weapons he used to imprison them. Not even he was able to kill the daemons.
“Come, Nyx. It is time for us to land on Enraxes. We will be crash landing in a drop pod. Our designated drop should be somewhere in the middle of the Jungle of Jinx. This should force us to fight our way to one of the other areas. Along the way I will teach you magick necessary to your survival. There is an armoury on board this ship if you wish to see it and get any weapons you feel you need. Soon, you won’t need to rely on weapons, but for now it is okay.”
“Where is the armoury and does it have a wide selection of weapons and armour?”
“Its right next to the training hall, and you could say that the selection is… exquisite and enormous. Meet me at the drop pods at the aft of this ship.”
Nyx began making his way to the armoury and started realizing that the ship seemed to glow. The gears, pipes, and mechanisms all seemed to glow with iridescence. Almost as if an outside magickal component played a key part in their functioning. As he was tossing this around in his head, he started realizing just how big of a scope magick entails. The uses and abilities that come with learning it. He knew, intuitively, that magick would unlock a power inside of him that he could not yet comprehend. As Nyx passed the training hall he saw two low-level mages dueling. He watched as they exchanged blows from elemental spells. He then continued on to a huge door that was three times his height and made of a glowing silver. He did not see much of a doorknob or doorbell or anything to inform the inside dwellers that he is entering. As he got closer the door began opening on its own. At first this surprised Nyx, but then he remembered that logic did not exist in magick. As he entered the room shelves began flying up from the floor. Shelves filled with weapons of unimaginable properties. The further he walked in the more shelves appeared. On his right shelves came from the floor with weapons galore. On his left shelves came from the ceiling with armour. There was no one there to assist him so he began helping himself. As he was looking over a few different weapons he noticed that as well as being different in physical appearance most of these weapons also had magickal enhancements. The same was with the armour. Next to each weapon and piece of armour was a little annotation stating the magickal property belonging to the item. After a long consideration and many weapons and armours reviewed, Nyx finally decided on what he wanted. He chose a battle axe which was double-sided, and left fire wherever it cut. Throwing knives made of a material which looked transparent and almost as if it were not there. The pouch that the knives came in replenished the knives as they were used. Each knife would explode upon contact with the target. He also grabbed a nice large battle knife that could be used as a boomerang and would always return even after being embedded into a target. As far as armour went, he chose a light-weight material that was all black. The annotation was hard to read, but he was certain that the magickal property was some where along the lines of the armour consuming all light around, because that is what he was noticing. Which fit his personality and need for subtlety perfectly. After putting on all that he received, he began heading aft to meet the dirty ol’ wizard for the trip to Enraxes.
“Ah, I see you did choose the black hole armour after all. I had requested that specifically for you to use. I knew how you liked to be hidden. The longer people stare at you the more they stop seeing you. And the more sanity they lose. I happen to be resistant to that spell, so do not worry about me losing you. Also, fine choices for your weapons. I notice you decided to not use guns.”
“Yeah, I figured guns would soon lose their advantage with the more magick I learned. Only creating noise and messes. So, when do we drop?”
“We drop in approximately ten minutes, once we are in position. It requires a lot of calculations to be able to get us near where we want out drop to be. Hoping there isn’t any error or abnormal activity on the planet, we should land where we want. Now come, let us enter our pod and prepare for the drop.”
Nyx followed closely behind as they located the drop that was prepped for them. They sat down in the grav seats and fastened the thick reinforced belts. The pod reminded Nyx of the capsules they used to use to get off a ship they had just raided or carried out a hit on. Although, Nyx noticed that there was a window in this one, which did not seem all that safe to him.
“Are you sure that window won’t get crushed under the pressure we are about to experience dropping into the planet’s atmosphere?”
“Anything is possible with magick. Aannnnddd away we gooo.”
Before Nyx had the chance to say anything the g force crushed any attempt he could make to move his mouth. He was held down by the sudden force crushing against him as they hurdled through the atmosphere. Nyx watched as flames licked the windows and saw passed the flames the clouds in the sky. They were purple. That was the last thing Nyx remembered before slamming into the ground at an unnaturally high speed.
As the dust settled and Nyx recovered from the impact the door to the pod blew open into the jungle. Nyx shook off his disorientation and jumped out out of the pod into the jungle. He was greeted by 25 natives, with full crude armour and just as crude weapons. They were shouting in a foreign language and making gestures at the pod. Nyx tried looking to see if the wizard was in there and to his surprise, he was not. He wasn’t too surprised, but he thought he would have stayed to direct where he was supposed to go. Nyx began to move towards the natives when he noticed they were still fixated on the pod and not him. He figured it must have been the armour. After analyzing the situation Nyx bends down and pulls out his combat knife from his boot. He recites a short battle prayer, readies his footing, and then leaps into the air towards the natives. On his way down his boot landed on a natives face, the second it hits the ground he jumps again with a powerful fist slamming into the next native. The native goes flying back a bit and before anyone can full register what is happening, Nyx chops off three heads. Mid-spin he begins grabbing his axe and unsheathing it. As he is finishing his spin he swings his axe at the midsection of four more natives, cutting their stomachs open and cauterizing them with flame. The flame then quickly engulfs the four natives leaving nothing but ash and guts. At this time, Nyx becomes startled at the fact that the first two natives he kicked and punched are getting back up as if they never got hit. He quickly pulls out five throwing knives, flicks his wrist, and throws them all with one hand, hitting the first two and then three others right between the eyes. As they were falling down their heads exploded, causing brains to go everywhere and to distract some of the remaining natives. The ones not distracted begin charging at Nyx, who quickly assesses the situation and throws his hunting knife in the direction of three of them while jumping with his axe high above his head towards one who is by himself. As he lands and cleaves the native in two and his body combusted in flames he turns back towards the other three to watch their headless bodies fall to the ground and his combat knife fly towards his open hand. A quick count shows nine natives left standing and charging at him. His axe in one hand and his knife in the other, Nyx decides to have a little fun. He does a quick assessment of his surroundings, taking in tree locations, shrubbery, and branches. Then, he begins charging towards a tree where he runs up it and grabs a branch, swinging himself on top and then jumping down on three of the natives. One has their body cut in half, another one gets a knife in the head, and the last one gets boots to the chest. As he is going to behead the native he is on top of, one of them bursts into flames and the other one swings his sword at Nyx. Nyx having his weapons already embedded into things, trusts his instincts and two palm strikes the native in the chest. Much to Nyx’s surprise the native gets a hole blown into his chest from this move. Completely thrown off guard by his innate ability to use magic, the remaining six charge at him all at once. His instinct was once again telling him to concentrate his energy through his hands at the natives. Once again, Nyx trust his instincts thrusts his palms towards remaining natives, much to his surprise again, an energy wave was released and obliterated the natives into shreds of guts, flesh, and bones.
“Amazing job, Nyx. Incredible. You remind me so much of your dad. Looks like you’ve already learned how to hand blast, which is amazing, eh? Stick to trusting your instincts and you may just become a grand wizard before you know it.”
“Yeah yeah. Where the fuck did you go? Went to find a good seat to watch from?”
“Pretty much. I don’t see why you’re upset, looks like you had fun,” said the wizard as he looked around at all the blood, guts, and ash.
“If I said I didn’t have fun I would be lying. Where to now old man?”
“We head to the forest king’s sanctuary to kill him.”
“Oh. Well, do you have an idea of what his forces will look like?”
“There will be anywhere from ten to fifty highly trained tree warriors guarding the outside. Another ten of his personal guard stands by him. They are all as strong as the trees they live with, if not stronger.”
“Well, am I actually gonna get any lessons before we head there? Or do you expect me to use nothing but my battle prowess to take out sixty some odd tree people?”
“Oh, you’ll get a lesson before we arrive, don’t you worry.”
Hello, welcome to my hell.
Its dark and lonely, can’t you tell?
It seems like forever ago when I fell.
It seems daemons have my soul to sell.
Bartering it for their evil deeds.
In my mind they sowed their treacherous seeds.
I can’t be saved, even with my own creeds.
My mind caved, and I lost sight of my own needs.
Hunger is pain, and pain is to my gain.
The more pain there is in vain, the more I become insane.
The more pain there is the more daemons strain.
Through the looking pane, there is a crane.
The crane is covered in blood and fire.
A sign that I, too, will tire and die in a pyre.
I climbed to the top of the spire.
Greeted by the daemon sire,
He claimed my soul was for hire.
The bidder who was higher,
Would get to drag my soul through a mire.
Dirty, ragged, worn, and beaten, this situation was dire.
Prior, my attire did require for me to be an entire liar.
Lying about my status, my emotions were put on a hiatus.
My mind is a complex apparatus, much like a crystal lattice.
Avoid the void, lest you wish to be destroyed when it is annoyed.
The ones who are devoid of emotion are the ones employed.
Once they are deployed, your pain is enjoyed.
The more I try to mend, the more daemons they send.
They tend to make my mind bend.
The more I try to ascend, the more they send to make me descend.
They pretend to be my friend.
The more “help” they lend, the more my thoughts blend.
They intend to make sure my soul doesn’t amend.
The more I try to fend them off, the more daemons they expend.
They attend to seeing that I meet my end.
No longer am I stable, my stability they disable.
Maybe soon I will be able to hang from a cable.
You see, I lay out this fable onto your table,
Because hopefully you will be able to see why I am unstable.
In the darkness, I sunk.
Against all the daemons, my will shrunk.
They chip away at my sanity, chunk by chunk.
They yell profanity when drunk.
Before you dismiss this as junk,
Let me tell you that I’ve become a monk.
As a monk I begin a new journey.
Hopefully it doesn’t finish with me in a gurney.
By giving myself this enormous trial,
I hope to rid myself of this vile style.
I’ll file away this pile of denial.
I’ll walk the isle that is a mile.
I’ll compile this black bile for just a little while.
When I was little my mind broke into two.
I started having a lot of thoughts to chew.
I started developing my own imaginary crew.
I’ve since locked my mind up like a vault, only opening for a few.
I guess I’m the one at fault, but who knew.
This coming year, I will try to start anew.
By eradicating any fear, the impossible, I will learn to do.
You who blew and spew that which is not true.
You who joined a queue just to get a clue.
My wings, which grew, were blue.
I flew askew through a slew daemon goo.
I wish I could better construe the meaning of this debut.
This end is long overdue.
Do to deja-vu, I thank you for your time and bid you adieu.
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